Where Do We Find Psychological Resilience in Tough Times?

“Psychological resilience during tough times” may seem like a pat slogan in the midst of our current difficulties. Yet it refers to something incredibly important.

Psychological resilience is important in any phase of life. However in a moment like the present, where there are particular difficulties and things we have to endure as a result of the lockdown, this is especially true.

Nearly everyone is experiencing some difficulty and hardship as a result of the fallout from COVID-19. However, it’s certainly true that some people are faring better with what they’re facing than others. This can be due to factors that the individual can’t control, such as genetics, the experiences that the individual had in early life, and just plain luck. But are there many factors that the individual can control, that will help her or him to come through demanding experiences in better shape?.

Things That Make a Difference

If we never have any adversity in our lives, we’ll never know whether we’re resilient or not. However, if we do face real difficulty, we face the question of how it will affect us, and how we’ll cope with it.

It turns out that there are quite a number of things that we can do that would help us get to a more resilient place. There are, as stated above, a large number of factors that come down to genetics or luck. Yet there are other elements that have to do with fundamental attitudes that we take towards our lives and the things that happen to us. The research of developmental psychologist UCLA Davis Prof. Emmy Werner and others shows that contrary to what we might expect, a significant number of people who are subject to high risk / high stress environments, actually don’t succumb to their difficulties.

The reason that they have psychological resilience has to do with how they respond to their environment. In Werner’s words, these individuals choose to “meet the world on their own terms.” They function in an autonomous manner, able to think for themselves and to be self-reliant. Yet they remain positively disposed toward others. They also remain open to new experiences, and seek them out. Perhaps most importantly, though, these individuals retain what Prof. Julian Rotter called an “internal locus of control”: a fundamental belief that it is themselves and not their outer circumstances, that ultimately determines how things turn out in their lives.

Meaning, Hope and Resilience

This fits well with a famous saying of C.G. Jung’s:

I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.

C.G. Jung

This axiom of Jungian case studies is very important for our particular time. As our society struggles to come to terms with the pandemic, it can very easily feel that our “locus of control” has shifted from somewhere inside of ourselves to somewhere outside—to medical experts, to politicians, even to the disease itself. We can end up feeling like our fate is completely in the hands of external forces that may seem largely indifferent to our real needs and aspirations.

At this time, and at every time, it’s very important to feel that that we have control in the way our lives turn out. We need a strong sense that difficult or traumatic events or experiences of setback and failure don’t overcome us and suck away our life energy. How do we stay in a place of feeling in control of our lives?

How Can I Get to a More Resilient Place?

There are some very specific things that we can do that will help us to feel more in control. To begin with, here is a list of fairly straightforward “doable” things:

• getting outside of the house more;
• increasing your level of physical exercise;
• connect more with family, friends and loved ones;
• get more good quality sleep and improve your sleep hygiene (e.g., cut caffeine, cut evening use of bright screens); and,
• limit your intake of news to manageable amounts.

In addition, for many people, staying more connected to their particular spirituality may be of real value. This could be through organized religion, spiritual reading, or practices such as yoga, meditation and active imagination—if those practices leave you with a sense of security and positive connection to something greater.

In addition, working with a /a-midlife-transition can assist with alleviating depression, anxiety, and the pain of difficult experiences, trauma or attachment wounding that may originate from experiences in early childhood. It can also help with exploring what is trying to emerge at this time in your life, especially if you are going through a major life transition. It’s well worth considering as we continue to confront the emotional and psychological impact of the pandemic, but it really has value at many different points in the journey towards wholeness.

Wishing you all the very best on your life journey,