D – Grief and Loss: Is There a Way Forward?
“D”, a woman in her 50s, lost her spouse unexpectedly through a tragic workplace accident. Y was a very outgoing businessman, involved in local charities, known to many people, and very well-liked in his community. With his loss D began to realize in a profound way how much she had grown to depend on him for her connection to the outer world. His death confronted her with an overwhelming experience of loneliness, despair and deep disconnection from her community and the life going on around her.
As we worked together, D became aware of the emergence in her dreams of a figure who was the connection with her own outgoing aspect, and her own unique self. This inner life had been pushed deep within her by an extremely critical early family experience. This had carried into her adult life in the form of very hostile, critical inner voices. With time, D began to develop an increasing confidence in her own ability to be outgoing. She increasingly felt that she was an interesting person whom others wanted to know on much more than a superficial level.
As D. re-connected with the world through involvements that mattered to her, and new friendships, she also began to have a deep appreciation of herself, her own inner life, and her own uniqueness. Along with new social relationships, D could also begin to enjoy time spent alone with a fascinating and surprisingly multi-faceted person — herself!