Counselling for Anxiety & Depth Psychotherapy 4: Freedom
Freedom is a word often heard in counselling for anxiety; it’s also a key concept in /a-midlife-transition. People who are really gripped by anxiety want nothing more than to be free of it. We all deeply yearn for freedom; but can we really tolerate having it?
What kind of freedom would really help us deal with anxiety?
Freedom to Acknowledge Who We Are
The inability to accept our own deepest reactions, feelings and thoughts, and to give ourselves the freedom to experience them can be a major source of anxiety. Often it stems from a deep fear that who and what we are is fundamentally unacceptable. In the face of such fear, it often takes real courage to face and accept who we are, and what we think and feel.
As Jungian analyst Marion Woodman puts it in The Pregnant Virgin :
Healing depends on listening with the inner ear – stopping the incessant blather, and listening. Fear keeps us chattering – fear that wells up from the past, fear of blurting out what we really fear, fear of future repercussions. It is our very fear of the future that distorts the now, that could lead to a different future if we dared to be whole in the present.
False Self and Taboos
We may experience taboos against acknowledging our real feelings and thoughts, and even accepting who we are. We may well find elements of ourselves (“complexes”) that deflect us powerfully from being fully honest with ourselves. As we get closer to penetrating this layer, we may find that the very anxiety we are seeking to get rid of flares up, as a layer of defense against the truth of who and what we are.
The Freedom of Acceptance
If we can accept our deepest selves, this acceptance is often accompanied by an immense sense of freedom and relief. As I described in my earlier post, when counselling for anxiety has brought us to the place where we feel that we are “enough’, in this way, it has largely accomplished its task.
Choice
To be free is to have real choice. It entails awareness that I’m free to choose to be and to live in accordance with my real nature, rather than shackled by external expectations and my own inner rejection of who I really am. The heart of the work of /a-midlife-transition is to get us to this place of acceptance and genuine free choice.
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