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    B – Social Role and Authentic Self

    “B” was a successful, intellectually-oriented lawyer in his 40s. A natural-born problem-solver, B had a prospering practice advising other lawyers and government. One day, B woke up in an uncharacteristic panic. After years of working flat out, he realized that he couldn’t face one more day of going to his office.

    Work seemed drained of meaning: While he was making good money, B realized that what he was doing didn’t really matter to him.

    In addition to the high stress of B’s work, B realized that he had been ignoring its dryness and dullness. And while work consumed most of his waking life, the rest of his life also seemed very sterile. “Where am I in my life?” he asked. Slowly the realization grew on him: “I’m a human doing, not a human being”.


    What was missing? As B worked in therapy, it became clear that simply changing jobs wasn’t the answer. Just switching jobs didn’t offer any greater chance of fulfillment.

    B explored his dreams, reactions and feelings for some time, and came to a realization. “I’ve been ignoring the greater part of my self. I’ve lost touch with I really want for myself and my life!” B began to start to take feeling seriously for the first time in his life.


    Slowly, B. began to find his way into a different life, a life that went beyond workaholism and meeting the very conventional expectations that others, and he himself, imposed.

    B slowly began to move in a direction that was contrary to conventional expectations. He earns less money, but somehow the bills get paid, and he has what he needs. As he says, “I have something in my life that’s worth having! Days that are full of colour, taste and feeling! And, for the first time in many years, instead of neighbours he merely waves to on the front lawn, or business acquaintances, B has real friendships.

    Contact Brian for more information on midlife transition counselling, finding one’s vocation, or to book a consultation: