Hiding Depression, Part 2: the Signs of Hidden Depression
As we saw in Part 1 of this series, hiding depression genuinely is a thing that we can end up doing. But, where does it hide, and what does that do to us?
Depression can often appear in hidden forms, and, in a substantial number of cases, it may even be hidden from the awareness of the person who has it. So, when we’re hiding depression, what does it actually look like? What are the signs of hidden depression?
The Many Forms of Depression
There are many possible signs of hidden depression. Some of the more visible indicators are described below.
Changed patterns of sleeping, eating and drinking. Often hidden depression can manifest when a person sleeps, eats or drinks in a manner that is unusual for that person. This can entail sleeping or eating in unusual patterns or unusual amounts—either too much or too little. Similarly, if you catch yourself drinking in unusual amounts, or at unusual times, it might be important to see if this is related to anxiety or depression.
Forced “Happiness”. If you become aware that you’re wearing a strained “happy face”, or that you’re trying very hard to appear happy when you’re in the company of others, you might be engaged in “forced happiness”. Similarly, if you find that you’re trying to avoid spending too long with people, it might be important to ask if this is because you don’t want them to see your real mood.
Feeling continuously tired. Very frequently, those who are struggling with depression experience a state of near-continual exhaustion. Even if they have regular sleep, they may wake up feeling exhausted. Lacking another explanation, people may even blame themselves, and feel that they must be hopelessly lazy, or some other character flaw.
Preoccupied with “deep questions”. Don’t get me wrong: asking deep questions about life can be a very important thing to do! Yet, if you find yourself preoccupied with questions like “What’s it all about?” or “Does anything really matter?”, and you’re a person who doesn’t usually get engaged by these kinds of questions, it might be important to ask—what’s going on? It may be that you’re experiencing some signs of hidden depression. Simultaneously, it may also mean that you’re undergoing a major life transition, and there’s a need to really look at questions of value, purpose and meaning, which Jungian /a-midlife-transitions often see as an essential part of soul work.
Feeling things more intensely than normal. If you have hidden depression, you may find yourself experiencing emotions more intensely than you normally would. You might find yourself feeling sadness or anger or even attachment to others in uncharacteristic ways. If you do, it’s important to ask yourself if you’re finding yourself emotionally “triggered” in ways that are not usual for you.
Less optimistic than normal. It may also be that you find it harder to muster optimism than you have at previous times in your life. People who are depressed definitely tend to have a less rosy appraisal of life in general. If you note that your perspective is seeming to be more jaded than usual, it may be an indicator that you have some measure of depression.
Beyond Secret Depression
As Jungian analyst James Hollis tells us, in depression,
Life’s energy, life’s intentionality is thwarted, denied, violated… Life is warring against life….”
To begin to move beyond this thwarting, it’s necessary to become conscious of our depression, and to stop hiding it from ourselves. When we pass this milestone, we are starting to come to terms with our own real lives.
When we recognize the signs of hidden depression in our own approach to life, what begins to opens up is the opportunity to explore our feeling life together with the chance to extend compassion to the deeply wounded and unrealized aspects of ourselves that may lie beneath the surface of our depression. Andrew Samuels reminds us that Jung recognized that depression can be a damming up of psychic energy. When that damming up is eliminated, the energy released is available for creativity and life.
Many people find that working with a supportive Jungian /a-midlife-transition can be an effective way to both understand the feeling dimension of depression and to move past the signs of hidden depression into a fuller experience of life.
Wishing you every good thing on your journey towards wholeness,